One Wink Plot
A collector is murdered for a legendary pair of Durs Egg duelling pistols known as The Judas Pair. Unfortunately for the killer, the set is incomplete and Lovejoy knows where the missing turnscrew is. What follows is part detective story, part treasure hunt and part siege movie, proving once and for all that no antique accessory should ever be underestimated.
Review
"I should have seen the trouble coming."
Okay, halfway through Series 1 and this is the big one.
Much as The Sopranos has "Whitecaps" and Breaking Bad has "Ozymandias", Lovejoy fans tend to point towards The Judas Pair. If Episode 1 was the proof of concept, this is where the series becomes a legend.
As luck would have it, this is one of the few Lovejoy books I've actually read. Years ago I picked up Lovejoy at Large Again, an omnibus containing the first three novels:
- The Judas Pair
- Gold From Gemini
- The Grail Tree
In a happy accident, the television series has already adapted the first two in almost exactly the same order. Gold From Gemini became last week's Friends, Romans and Enemies and now we arrive at the original Lovejoy story itself.
We begin in a barn where Lovejoy and Michael Seymour are about to duel with a pair of flintlock pistols. At the last moment they deliberately fire away from one another. This is known as deloping and the episode never bothers to explain it, so I'm correcting a forty-year-old oversight on its behalf.
Spoiler alert: Michael isn't the villain.
More importantly, Michael looks exactly like the villain.
Having seen Season 2, I remain convinced Lovejoy should have shot him. Smug git.
The duel exists mainly to explain the central mystery. A man has been murdered and a pair of rare flintlock duelling pistols stolen. Lovejoy is hired to trace them.
Off to Cambridge we go.
Jane and Lovejoy go punting on the Cam while discussing the mythical thirteenth pair of Durs Egg pistols known as The Judas Pair. The pistols themselves are real enough. Durs Egg was one of London's greatest gunmakers and surviving examples now sell for eye-watering sums.
A bit like pints of IPA in London in 2026.
Cambridge looks absolutely gorgeous. The colleges, the river, the bridges. The only improvement would have been Eric doing the punting or everyone abandoning the plot entirely and racing around King's College in a low-budget version of Chariots of Fire.
Michael wants the Judas Pair as well, although he dismisses them as being about as likely to exist as Excalibur.
This, of course, guarantees that Lovejoy will find them.
One thing I noticed this time around is that Lovejoy has started wearing the leather jacket. You know the one. Not quite three-quarter length, not quite waist length, permanently attached to Ian McShane for the next several years.
No Dandy Jack this week, mind. Last seen face-down beside his tricycle in Friends, Romans and Enemies, he is presumably still convalescing. Given the body count this episode, sensibly so.
The investigation takes us to Norfolk where Jane memorably declares:
"La Grange! What a splendid name for a villain."
The plot is complicated enough that the episode helpfully has Lovejoy drive around in Jane's green Range Rover listing all the suspects like he's hosting East Anglia's answer to Columbo.
Then Lovejoy becomes obsessed with a screwdriver.
Not the pistols.
A screwdriver. A Durs turnscrew, apparently.
It looks like something you'd buy from Screwfix for £4.99.
Nonetheless Lovejoy becomes so excited by it that he breaks into an auction house in the middle of the day to retrieve it. Jane is getaway driver in her Landrover. Why not.
This proves to be a remarkably good instinct because before long people are willing to rob houses, assault Jane and commit arson in pursuit of what is essentially the world's most valuable toolkit accessory.
"I have never pretended to understand your friendship with Lovejoy," says Lord Felsham.
That makes two of us and possibly the scriptwriters as well.
The middle section of this episode is superb. The mystery tightens, the suspects narrow and Lovejoy realises the killer already possesses the Judas Pair but needs the missing turnscrew to complete the set.
Suddenly Lovejoy has bait.
Watching this episode again, every location is sumptuous. Cambridge. The market squares. Country lanes. Lovejoy's cottage.
I worked on Faversham market around the late 80s before school and these scenes press every nostalgia button available. The England of Lovejoy may never have existed exactly as remembered, but it certainly feels like it did.
The bucolic dream is eventually interrupted by a crossbow attack, pistol fire and an act of arson that turns Jane's renovation project into a very expensive bonfire.
Lovejoy and Jane survive by hiding in the priest hole beneath the cottage, conveniently located next to the booze.
Eventually Lovejoy realises the culprit is Dr La Grange and heads off for a final confrontation.
And what a confrontation.
La Grange doesn't simply confess.
He challenges Lovejoy to a duel.
I'm still not entirely sure why Lovejoy agrees to this.
The turnscrew is returned.
The pistols are loaded.
And then comes one of the great twists of the entire series.
The Judas Pair are called the Judas Pair because one of the pistols is a traitor.
Instead of firing forwards, it fires backwards.
The duellist pulls the trigger and blows his own brains out.
Finally we discover the inscription hidden on the pistols:
Rex Me Fecit.
"The King made me."
Lovejoy realises that some royal figure forced Durs Egg to create the weapons and left a clue hidden in plain sight for future generations.
The mystery is solved.
And if Rex Me Fecit means "The King made me", then perhaps (maybe gilding the lily slightly here) then
Lovejoy Me Fecit.
Perfection.